What really makes a "HAPPY NEW YEAR" - behind the scene peek

Time of joy

This is that part of the year when a spirit of bonhomie, geniality and general joie de vivre permeates the air. Not to mention the spirit of … well spirits … that permeates our veins and puts us all in a particularly amenable mood. With joyous shouts of “Happy New Year” we greet complete strangers startling them and prompting them to shout back “same to you, same to you”. Ah, I love this part of the year.

Planning where to go

This is also that part of the year when socialites make plans for 31^st night. The plans are generally kept fluid till a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. For those going to hotels it’s straight forward. Dress up – sit there – watch the canned entertainment – drink – eat – burp - slur – get back home and sleep it off. Those going to the “Club” also have little to plan. Dress – take your seat – watch the profoundly intelligent (of course I am being sarcastic) stuff on stage – get your fill of Indi-pop and local rap, get plastered, and rush to the buffet. After dinner go home with a headache.

The upper crust socialite going to private parties has to deal with complex algorithms to take a decision as to which event to attend. Decisions are taken based on factors such as the social and financial status of the host, the attractiveness of the guests, the quality and volume of spirits that will be available and the pure snob value. All this is data is fed into their Android smart phone, and a special app then suggests which party they should go to. Until the decision is firmed up answers to the question: “what are you doing for New Years?” elicits only vague responses “um ah, haven’t decided what about you?”  

Some folk wanting to enjoy it all will attend multiple parties risking driving from one venue to the other. The art of slipping away from one party and reappearing in another is refined over the years. The get-away is usually done by holding a mobile phone to the ears and walking out as if moving away from the music to take a phone call. The appearance at a new party is done by carrying an empty glass, staggering a bit and heading for the bar.

On the 31^st night there are several types of parties underway. Some watch TV at home for hours on end flipping from one channel to the other. Others go to temples and pray to wash away last year’s sins and take anticipatory bail for next year. Others go to Vizag’s most popular destination, the beach, where they drink surreptitiously and eat chilly bajjis, noodles and roasted corn till midnight. Then get on bikes, three to a bike and rocket up and down the road screaming “Happy New Year, Happy New Yeeeeee”…crasssh! Many end up having an altercation between the road and their limbs.

The young rich party

The young generally have the best parties. The revellers dress better, look better and dance better. They meet in homes where they pump up the volume on their Bose systems, drink Smirnoff and Breezers and stab the air to pure Desi beats. Being of that particular age many bring their kids along and the young wives are left to feed and put the kids to bed early so they can let their hair down. Meanwhile the young studs do important things like drinking, smoking and bragging. Everyone has a glass in one hand and an I-Phone to the ear.

The middle aged party

At this age the men still have some of the youthful enthusiasm. Laughter is everywhere – some of them genuine. Pot bellies notwithstanding, the men can still do some ancient moves on the dance floor. The wives in their silk sarees, laden with jewellery that would shame a Spanish Galleon, feistily join in and do a few mandatory moves as they keep an eagle eye on their spouses occasionally glaring at them and reminding them of their heart condition, high blood pressure, diabetes and the propensity to get sillier with every 60ml.

The Oldie Goldie party

Those that have reached a mature age generally meet at friend’s places. They take things a little slow. They sit around listening to the Beatles and Santana, sipping their single malt and munching the hara bhara kawabs, reminiscing about the great parties of the past, about the volume of liquor that they consumed then and how long they danced. At every re-telling the figures go up. Everyone congratulates each other for surviving so many years and the end of the Earth. The wives chat animatedly about the important things of life – stuff like their grandchildren, clothes, jewellery and domestic help. As midnight approaches everyone becomes excited. Then at the golden moment all rise to do the mandatory hugging and air kissing. A million phone calls are made and received. Everyone is on the phone.  A few minutes after midnight they retire after chewing their antacids only to start the next year with a terrible head ache.

Whichever type of party, when it’s time to roll over the calendar most revellers end up with their closest friends and relatives and the warm glow of companionship spreads through the air.

Astronomy and the last one year

The funny thing is that if you consider the significance of the last one year some strange stuff comes up. Now take out your calculators. Since the Earth rotates on its own axis once in 24 hours, you would be covering 38,000 kilometres just sitting on the beach for 24 hours. Then multiply that by 365 days – you would then be travelling 138 million kilometres every year around the Earth’s axis.

It doesn’t stop there. Since the Earth revolves around the Sun once every 365 days you would have travelled a further distance of 947 million kilometers to land up where we were last year in relation to the Sun. Now, hold on. Since the Earth and Sun are a part of the Solar System and the Solar System is a part of the Milky Way galaxy, and since the Galaxy itself is rotating around its axis as it hurtles through the universe we would be all have travelled several trillions kilometers since 31 December 2011.  So what’s that all got to do with New Year? Gosh – I don’t know but all that travel sure makes me thirsty! Happy New Year!