Hic Hic Happy New Year!
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/visakhapatnam/Hic-Hic--Happy-New-Year/articleshow/28072606.cms
Happy New Year
Time of joy
This is that
part of the year when a spirit of bonhomie, geniality and general joie de vivre
permeates the air. Not to mention the spirit of … well spirits … that permeates
our veins and puts us all in a particularly amenable mood. With joyous shouts
of “Happy New Year” we greet complete strangers startling them and prompting
them to shout back “same to you, same to you”. Ah, I love this part of the
year.
Planning where to go
This is also
that part of the year when socialites make plans for 31st night. The
plans are generally kept fluid till a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. For
those going to hotels it’s straight forward. Dress up – sit there – watch the
canned entertainment – drink – eat – burp - slur – stagger and or drive back
home and sleep it off. Those going to “Clubs” also have little to plan. Dress –
take your seat – watch the profoundly intelligent (of course I am being
sarcastic) stuff on stage – get your fill of Indi-pop and local rap, get
plastered, queue up at the buffet. After dinner go home with a headache.
The upper crust
socialite going to private parties has to deal with complex algorithms to take
a decision as to which event to attend. Decisions are taken based on factors
such as the social and financial status of the host, the attractiveness of the
guests, the quality and volume of spirits that will be available and the pure
snob value. All this is data is fed into their smart phone, and a special app then
suggests which party they should go to. Until the decision is firmed up answers
to the question: “what are you doing for New Years?” elicits only vague
responses “um ah, haven’t decided what about you?”
Some folk
wanting to enjoy it all will attend multiple parties risking driving from one
venue to the other. The art of slipping away from one party and reappearing in
another is refined over the years. The “unobtrusive get-away” is usually done
by holding a mobile phone to the ears and walking out as if moving away from
the loud music to take a phone call. The appearance at a new party is done by
carrying an empty glass, swaying a bit and heading for the bar.
On the 31st
night there are several types of parties underway. Some watch TV at home for
hours on end flipping from one channel to the other. Others go to temples and
pray to wash away last year’s sins and take anticipatory bail for next year.
Others go to Vizag’s most popular destination, the beach, where they drink alcohol
surreptitiously from soft drink bottles and eat chilly bajjis, noodles and roasted
corn till midnight. Then get on bikes, three to a bike and rocket up and down
the road screaming.
The young rich party
The young generally
have the best parties. The revelers dress better, look better and dance
better. They meet in homes where they pump up the volume on their Bose systems,
drink Smirnoff and Breezers and stab the air to pure Desi beats. Being of that
particular age many bring their kids along and the young wives are left to feed
and put the kids to bed early so they can let their hair down. Meanwhile the
young studs do important things like drinking, smoking and bragging. Everyone
has a glass in one hand and an I-Phone to the ear.
The middle aged party
At this age
the men still have some of the youthful enthusiasm. Laughter is everywhere –
some of them genuine. Pot bellies notwithstanding, the men can still do some
ancient moves on the dance floor. The wives in their silk sarees, laden with
jewelry that would shame a Spanish Galleon, feistily join in and do a few
mandatory moves as they keep an eagle eye on their spouses occasionally glaring
at them and reminding them of their heart condition, high blood pressure,
diabetes and the propensity to get sillier with every 60 ml.
The Oldie Goldie party
Those that
have reached a mature age generally meet at friend’s places. They take things a
little slow. They sit around listening to the Beatles and Santana, sipping their
single malt and munching the hara bhara kawabs, reminiscing about the great parties of the past, about the volume of
liquor that they consumed then and how long they danced. At every re-telling
the figures go up. Everyone congratulates each other for surviving so many
years. The wives chat animatedly about the important things of life – stuff
like their grandchildren, clothes, jewellery and domestic help. As midnight
approaches everyone becomes excited. Then at the golden moment all rise to
do the mandatory hugging and air kissing. A million phone calls are made. Everyone is on the phone. A few minutes after midnight they retire after
chewing their antacids only to start the next year with a terrible head ache.
Astronomy and the last one year
The funny
thing is that if you consider the significance of the last one year some
strange stuff comes up. Now take out your calculators. Since the Earth rotates on
its own axis once in 24 hours, you would be covering 38,000 kilometers just sitting
on the beach for 24 hours. Then multiply that by 365 days – you would then be
travelling 138 million kilometers every year around the Earth’s axis.
It doesn't
stop there. Since the Earth revolves around the Sun once every 365 days you
would have traveled a further distance of 947 million kilometers to land up where we were last year in relation to
the Sun. Now, hold on. Since the Earth and Sun are a part of the Solar System
and the Solar System is a part of the Milky Way galaxy, and since the Galaxy
itself is rotating around its axis as it hurtles through the universe we would
be all have traveled several trillions kilometers since 31 December last year. So what’s that all got to do with New Year?
Gosh – I don’t know but all that travel sure makes me thirsty! Happy
New Year!
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