Diabolical design

Diabolical designs

Published in the Times of India on 30 Nov 2014

We Indians are poor planners and designers. It must be something to do with the imprecise fuzzy way we think. Our philosophy that it is our karma to suffer for past sins and our “parva ledhu” (doesn't matter) attitude doesn't help either. Whatever the reason, we must conclude that we are the reigning champions of lousy design. Here are a few, of many reasons, why.

BRTS

The bus rapid transit system being implemented in Vizag shows amazing examples of daft design. It is logical that when passengers get off the bus they need to move safely away to the pavement on either side of the road. A good example of irrational design is the BRTS bus stand in front of the Swarna Bharati indoor stadium on Rama Talkies Road. The bus stand is barely 4 feet wide and shrinks to 2 feet or so at the exit point. A partial bus load of passengers stepping off the bus will obviously be bottle-necked at this narrow point and will spill on to the road with the prospect of being knocked down by a bus. Yes sir, a sure case of diabolical and deadly design.

Kerb heights

It is not rocket science. Every city street must have an asphalt or concrete top gently sloping towards the kerb edge on either side. At the edge a covered or open drain is used to drain away the water from the road surface. If it is a covered drain a metal grating is used to cover the drain. Immediately after the drain we must have a kerb stone – generally made of precast concrete - which separates the footpath area from the road. This footpath should then merge smoothly with the buildings on either side. There are standards for kerb heights throughout the world. For fast moving traffic kerb heights are somewhat higher but in cities kerbs are never more than 100 or 150 mm (4” to 6”). Our city road designers, with the intention of punishing senior citizens make kerbs so high that it becomes impossible to step on and off that footpath; one would rather walk on the road and get run over by a bus!

Humps of death!

Let us now turn our attention to our typical state highways. I have had the misfortune of travelling these roads recently and can vouch that they have been designed by the most sadistic of road engineers. The roads are in horrible condition and you are forced to rattle along carefully dodging a million potholes and four legged creatures of all varieties. Yet, ironically as you negotiate the obstacles you are ambushed by thousands of mountainous speed breakers that would give the Himalayas an inferiority complex. The humps are there even in completely uninhabited portions of the road, placed there to surprise and torment you. They are designed to stop battle tanks and send unsuspecting bikes and cars flying through the air. These sinister speed breakers lurk camouflaged in the dark, un-painted and with no warning sign. Unsuspecting drivers realize that they have hit the humps only when they go flying through the air like stunt drivers. Every day these humps cause avoidable damage, injury and death. Any educated designer would know that “rumblers” – a series of small bumps – or standard rubber humps or reflector studs would do the job of slowing down vehicles without endangering the driver and the pedestrians, but our state highway authorities simply don’t care. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could make our road transport minister drive over and on these humps over and over again for 24 hours so that he gets a feel of what the hapless public are going through? Jolly idea what?

Indian Railway’s torture chamber

Take your average 2AC or 3AC train compartment. There are four toilets in them of which three are the notorious squatting Asian commodes and only one “western” commode. Then take a look at the passenger reservation chart and you will find that more than half of the passengers are elderly folk who find it impossible to squat; especially with the train rocking, rolling, shuddering and shaking constantly. Considering that most AC compartment travelers use western commodes in their own homes isn't it obvious to anyone with some common sense that the AC compartment should have three western commodes and one Asian one? And can someone explain why the floor drain is always higher than the floor level conspiring to keep the toilet wet?

Wet home toilets

Let us also consider how we design our home toilets. Any competent designer will tell us that the bathing tub, or shower or the “bucket bath” space must be at the outer end of the toilet and the floor level of that bathing portion must be an inch or so lower and separated from the rest of the toilet by a shower curtain. This design keeps the rest of the toilet dry after a bath. While this should be standard practice, some of the best local builders and even our own VUDA design their bath area right in the middle of the bathroom ensuring that the entire toilet is a wet mess after every use. This design is perhaps is a hang up from the days we bathed by wells and ponds. 

Diabolical design is all around us

Terrible designing permeates every sector. Take a look at your BSNL telephone bill. The most prominent figure is not your phone number but your “account number” in bold! Which BSNL customer would prefer to know their account number over their phone number? Is this plain absence of intellect or a case of diabolical design? In Vizag there are hundreds of road intersections designed by pure evil to cause confusion and accidents. In fact we are such incompetent designers that we tax payers need to fork out Rs. 1,200 crores to Singapore to design a state capital for us! The absence of design talent does not only confuse, inconvenience, maim and kill us; it is also making us go broke!