Diabolical design
Diabolical designs
Published in the Times of India on 30 Nov 2014
We Indians are
poor planners and designers. It must be something to do with the imprecise
fuzzy way we think. Our philosophy that it is our karma to suffer for past sins
and our “parva ledhu” (doesn't matter)
attitude doesn't help either. Whatever the reason, we must conclude that we are
the reigning champions of lousy design. Here are a few, of many reasons, why.
BRTS
The bus
rapid transit system being implemented in Vizag shows amazing examples of daft design.
It is logical that when passengers get off the bus they need to move safely away
to the pavement on either side of the road. A good example of irrational design
is the BRTS bus stand in front of the Swarna Bharati indoor stadium on Rama
Talkies Road. The bus stand is barely 4 feet wide and shrinks to 2 feet or so
at the exit point. A partial bus load of passengers stepping off the bus will obviously
be bottle-necked at this narrow point and will spill on to the road with the
prospect of being knocked down by a bus. Yes sir, a sure case of diabolical and
deadly design.
Kerb heights
It is not
rocket science. Every city street must have an asphalt or concrete top gently sloping
towards the kerb edge on either side. At the edge a covered or open drain is
used to drain away the water from the road surface. If it is a covered drain a
metal grating is used to cover the drain. Immediately after the drain we must
have a kerb stone – generally made of precast concrete - which separates the footpath
area from the road. This footpath should then merge smoothly with the buildings
on either side. There are standards for kerb heights throughout the world. For
fast moving traffic kerb heights are somewhat higher but in cities kerbs are
never more than 100 or 150 mm (4” to 6”). Our city road designers, with the
intention of punishing senior citizens make kerbs so high that it becomes
impossible to step on and off that footpath; one would rather walk on the road
and get run over by a bus!
Humps of death!
Let us now
turn our attention to our typical state highways. I have had the misfortune of
travelling these roads recently and can vouch that they have been designed by
the most sadistic of road engineers. The roads are in horrible condition and
you are forced to rattle along carefully dodging a million potholes and four
legged creatures of all varieties. Yet, ironically as you negotiate the obstacles
you are ambushed by thousands of mountainous speed breakers that would give the
Himalayas an inferiority complex. The humps are there even in completely
uninhabited portions of the road, placed there to surprise and torment you.
They are designed to stop battle tanks and send unsuspecting bikes and cars
flying through the air. These sinister speed breakers lurk camouflaged in the
dark, un-painted and with no warning sign. Unsuspecting drivers realize that
they have hit the humps only when they go flying through the air like stunt
drivers. Every day these humps cause avoidable damage, injury and death. Any educated
designer would know that “rumblers” – a series of small bumps – or standard
rubber humps or reflector studs would do the job of slowing down vehicles
without endangering the driver and the pedestrians, but our state highway
authorities simply don’t care. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could make our
road transport minister drive over and on these humps over and over again for
24 hours so that he gets a feel of what the hapless public are going through? Jolly
idea what?
Take your
average 2AC or 3AC train compartment. There are four toilets in them of which three
are the notorious squatting Asian commodes and only one “western” commode. Then
take a look at the passenger reservation chart and you will find that more than
half of the passengers are elderly folk who find it impossible to squat; especially
with the train rocking, rolling, shuddering and shaking constantly. Considering
that most AC compartment travelers use western commodes in their own homes
isn't it obvious to anyone with some common sense that the AC compartment
should have three western commodes and one Asian one? And can someone explain
why the floor drain is always higher than the floor level conspiring to keep
the toilet wet?
Wet home toilets
Let us also consider
how we design our home toilets. Any competent designer will tell us that the bathing
tub, or shower or the “bucket bath” space must be at the outer end of the
toilet and the floor level of that bathing portion must be an inch or so lower
and separated from the rest of the toilet by a shower curtain. This design
keeps the rest of the toilet dry after a bath. While this should be standard
practice, some of the best local builders and even our own VUDA design their
bath area right in the middle of the bathroom ensuring that the entire toilet
is a wet mess after every use. This design is perhaps is a hang up from the
days we bathed by wells and ponds.
Diabolical design is all around us
Terrible
designing permeates every sector. Take a look at your BSNL telephone bill. The
most prominent figure is not your phone number but your “account number” in
bold! Which BSNL customer would prefer to know their account number over their
phone number? Is this plain absence of intellect or a case of diabolical
design? In Vizag there are hundreds of road intersections designed by pure evil
to cause confusion and accidents. In fact we are such incompetent designers
that we tax payers need to fork out Rs. 1,200 crores to Singapore to design a
state capital for us! The absence of design talent does not only confuse, inconvenience,
maim and kill us; it is also making us go broke!
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